Being vulnerable is the true test of any relationship that we have with others. Vulnerability is like the super-glue that brings people closer together. It's about putting our fears aside and taking that leap to be more courageous and honest with another person. The ability to be vulnerable can be fantastic and magic, when we choose to do so with the right people.
I know what your thinking. "I can't be vulnerable, because people will think I am weak. I want people to look up to me". But the truth is, we are all weak, and we have some trouble with insecurities or bad memories that makes us feel broken. But our brokenness is what makes us beautiful -- makes us... us.
Frankly, if no one had any problems, everyone would all get rather bored. Everyone would be like a robot; none of us would have differences that set us apart. We would know everything there is to know about another, and there would be no opportunity to learn and grow and change.
So what can we be vulnerable about? Here is a litmus test -- we can share some of our dreams or more trivial problems. Gauge the response the other person makes and then wait it out. If they are able to make their vulnerabilities known also... it is time to continue sharing.
When the time comes to deepen the relationship, we should make attempts to share things such as problems that are really plaguing us, difficult issues we have faced in our past whether resolved or unresolved, or the hardest -- our feelings.
Oh no! But sometimes the other person doesn't respect our vulnerability. Chances are they may not feel the same way about the relationship as we feel. In some cases they may be immature about the way they use the information. They might use it to have control, push our buttons, or make gossip against us. This situation can really be tough, but it is best to take the high road in move on. If the person already means a lot, express feelings about the situation. However if they continue treat us badly or the make the same mistake twice then it may be time to move on.
You may have had it happen to you in the past when someone opened up in a way you felt was not appropriate. Either you were not ready to deepen your relationship with the other person or you do not want to. The key in this situation is to be reverent with their information. Be honest and discuss with them how you feel about their vulnerability. It shows a higher level of maturity and care for another.
Hopefully, all went well and both parties take the others vulnerability to heart. This is when that magic happens. We can start to feel a deeper connection, feel at ease to be more vulnerable and honest, feel a deeper sense of trust, and have more things we can relate with. It is great practice to acknowledge when someone is vulnerable by saying, "thank you", and it may be healthy for you relationship to make a promise or commitment not to share any secrets or vulnerabilities that they have given to you. Being vulnerable is a precious and sacred gift that is a wonderful part of being human.
I know what your thinking. "I can't be vulnerable, because people will think I am weak. I want people to look up to me". But the truth is, we are all weak, and we have some trouble with insecurities or bad memories that makes us feel broken. But our brokenness is what makes us beautiful -- makes us... us.
Frankly, if no one had any problems, everyone would all get rather bored. Everyone would be like a robot; none of us would have differences that set us apart. We would know everything there is to know about another, and there would be no opportunity to learn and grow and change.
So what can we be vulnerable about? Here is a litmus test -- we can share some of our dreams or more trivial problems. Gauge the response the other person makes and then wait it out. If they are able to make their vulnerabilities known also... it is time to continue sharing.
When the time comes to deepen the relationship, we should make attempts to share things such as problems that are really plaguing us, difficult issues we have faced in our past whether resolved or unresolved, or the hardest -- our feelings.
Oh no! But sometimes the other person doesn't respect our vulnerability. Chances are they may not feel the same way about the relationship as we feel. In some cases they may be immature about the way they use the information. They might use it to have control, push our buttons, or make gossip against us. This situation can really be tough, but it is best to take the high road in move on. If the person already means a lot, express feelings about the situation. However if they continue treat us badly or the make the same mistake twice then it may be time to move on.
You may have had it happen to you in the past when someone opened up in a way you felt was not appropriate. Either you were not ready to deepen your relationship with the other person or you do not want to. The key in this situation is to be reverent with their information. Be honest and discuss with them how you feel about their vulnerability. It shows a higher level of maturity and care for another.
Hopefully, all went well and both parties take the others vulnerability to heart. This is when that magic happens. We can start to feel a deeper connection, feel at ease to be more vulnerable and honest, feel a deeper sense of trust, and have more things we can relate with. It is great practice to acknowledge when someone is vulnerable by saying, "thank you", and it may be healthy for you relationship to make a promise or commitment not to share any secrets or vulnerabilities that they have given to you. Being vulnerable is a precious and sacred gift that is a wonderful part of being human.
